The Petulant Purple School
by The Petulant Purple Princess
Summary: OK, umm, how do I describe this? The DBZ characters go to school... That's pretty much all I can say about it.
1. Chapter 1

**My attention span is really, really short. So, I present to you the product of my extremely overactive imagination! And to shorten it I will be referring to myself as Purple Princess or Stephanie, because of the fact that The Petulant Purple Princess is too much to type.

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Trunks woke up in a strange room. _Where the bloody hell is this? _He lifted his head from the desk he was sitting at and took in his surroundings. He seemed to be in some sort of classroom. Looking around, he noticed that the rest of his fellow DBZ characters were sleeping at similar desks.

He faced the front and his eyes widened in horror when he noticed a terrifyingly familiar teenager sitting at the teacher's desk. She looked up from the book she was reading, and grinned evilly at Trunks.

"Hi Mirai! I see you're awake," she shouted hyperly.

"Hello, Stephanie," he responded warily. "Where are we and why are we here?"

The others were beginning to awaken; most groaned when they realized who their captor was, except for Pan and Bra, who were glad to see her.

"Hey Steph!" Pan shouted, equally hyper as the Petulant Purple Princess. "Why does it look like we're in your first period classroom?"

"Because I was bored and decided to write one of those really cliched but really funny fanfics about where you all go to school, except I decided to twist it and not make you all chibis, and I decided to make the crazy and insane teacher myself," she answered in an extremely long run-on sentence that would give my English teacher a heart attack.

"Cool!" Pan exclaimed.

Bulma sat thoughtfully. "But we're in high school, right? So wouldn't we have multiple teachers?"

The Petulant Purple Princess mulled it over in her head. "You're right! I need more people to be teachers! Hmm… Who could be a teacher?"

Goten tentatively raised his hand.

"Goten, dude, this is theater, and I really don't care if you shout out your question or comment or whatever," Purple Princess said.

"Oh, well, you could have some of your friends be teachers," he suggested.

Purple Princess nodded. "Good idea Goten. Here, have a peppermint." She threw a candy at Goten, and it hit him square in the head. "It would help if you knew how to catch. Anyway, if anyone else wants to be a teacher, you can review and tell me which subject you would like to teach. A little something about yourself might be a good idea too."

"Who are you talking to, Stephanie?" Goku asked.

"I'm talking to all the readers over there. Don't you see them?"

"No…"

"Your problem then. REVIEW!!!!!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Yeah, I changed my mind. I'm principal of this stupid idea instead of just a teacher. So yeah. Here is Chapter 2 for my one reader.**

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"Ok, before I send you all to your first period class, I would like to set down a few rules. Rule number one: NO ESCAPING!!!!" PPP directed this particularly loud shout at the Trunkses, who were slowly making their way toward the door. They hesitated, unsure if they should obey or not. Stephanie quickly dissipated their doubts. "Sit, or I'll take you into my office and 'punish' you."

Their faces paled, and they rushed back to their seats. PPP cursed under her breath and continued. "For the most part Joivth will take care of disciplinary action and crap, except for the 'special' cases." PPP smiled seductively at the Trunkses, and they trembled in fear. "That's pretty much it, so you can leave as soon as you get your schedules." She turned to the Trunkses with the seductive look still on her face. "Bye, my pretties!"

The twins popped into existence with schedules in their hands as soon as PPP left the room. "About damn time she let us in a fic that wasn't _A Tale of Two Twins_ or _Hide the Chocolate_," Steph muttered.

They walked around the room, handing out schedules. Steph paused at the Trunkses. "Uh, which one is which?" she asked. "They both have 'Trunks Briefs' on them, but they're not specific about which one!"

Bri came over to have a look. "I don't think it matters. See, both schedules are the same."

"Oh." Steph handed them their schedules and snickered. "Coach Davis first period, I feel sorry for you!"

All the schedules were given away and the twins slowly faded away. Steph's indignant shouts echoed across the room.

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The Petulant Purple Princess leaned back in the rollie chair she stole from the high school principal she was impersonating and smirked. The evil plot she had formulated while bored and on sugar-high was working perfectly! And now for the one thing she's always wanted to do…

PPP popped a CD into the stereo and turned it all the way up. She then walked over to the PA and blasted The Best of Bon Jovi into the halls of what was once Diboll High School.


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, it took me forever to finish this chapter! And it's really not that long! Anyways, I'd like to thank Cristina for the encouraging review. To be honest, I really don't think this fic is all that good. But whatever, at least some people like it. Oh, and Cristina, you make your first appearance!**

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The first thing Trunks noticed about Coach Davis' room was Yoda; apparently the guy was a Star Wars fanatic. He and his counterpart from the future grabbed seats as far away from the teacher's desk as they could and listened with bored expressions to The Beatles, which was playing on the computer.

They watched as Bulma, Yamcha, Raditz, 17, and 18 filed in as well. All of them sat as far as they could from Coach Davis like Trunks and Mirai did.

The bell rang (which was a sound clip from one of Bon Jovi's songs) and the door shut ominously. A man in a Hawaiian shirt and khakis jumped from the ceiling wielding a plastic lightsaber. "Welcome young padawans," he said in an annoyingly cheerful voice, "to Advanced Math!"

17 yawned and laid his head down on the desk. He turned to his sister and murmured, "Well, this is going to be boring."

18 nodded, then smiled mischievously. "I guess we'll just have to fix that then, won't we?"

Davis continued to prattle on about the wonders (coughevilscough) of pre-calculus, completely oblivious to 17 and 18's scheming. Raditz, however, was fully aware, and scooted over closer to them, wanting to get in on the action. The androids happily accepted the longhaired Saiyan, and continued with their ingenious — I mean evil plot to undermine Coach Davis' class.

Davis ended his lecture on… whatever it was he was trying to convey, and went around the room attempting to pass around worksheets. I say attempting, because poor Coach Gayvis — sorry, Davis — is dyslexic and can't count. Even with the extremely tiny class of seven, he had trouble giving Mirai the right amount of papers.

"Um, sir, you didn't give me enough papers," Mirai said in a bored tone of voice.

"No need to be so enthusiastic Trunks!" Davis yelled happily. "Here."

"How do you know our names?" the other Trunks asked in surprise.

"I know all your names through the power of the Force!" Coach Davis announced. "Even BULMA who needs to get her head up!"

Bulma, who had put her head down for a little power nap while Davis enlightened the less intelligent characters, jumped with a start when Davis slammed a textbook on the desk next to her ear. She shrieked and fell gracelessly from her chair.

Raditz and the Androids dissolved into laughter at the awkward heap on the floor. Raditz laughed so hard he fell on the floor too. HAH! What a loser!

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Meanwhile…

Vegeta was in an argument with his science teacher Cristina. What said argument was over is irrelevant, because Vegeta couldn't remember, and the authoress is too lazy to make one up. The point is, Vegeta was arguing with Cristina for no apparent reason, except that the Petulant Purple Princess needs him to be doing something before he feels something through his bond with Bulma right… about…

Now.

Vegeta stopped in mid-rant and made his way to the door.

"And just _where _do you think you're going?" Cristina asked coldly as she slowly reached for her textbook.

Vegeta grunted. "Baka onna." He threw open the door and headed down the hall toward Coach Davis' class.

"Vegeta!" Cristina shouted in vain. "Get back here, you imbecilic monkey!" Vegeta ignored her. "Fine! Be that way!" She pouted and stuck her tongue out at Vegeta's retreating form and returned to her class. "Now, who wants to experiment with some highly corrosive chemicals?"

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It was a violent encounter. The Androids and Raditz had abandoned their original scheme to bother the hell out of Coach Davis in order to get Vegeta pissed in hopes of entertainment.

"What the hell happened?" Vegeta growled upon seeing Bulma on the floor.

Mirai opened his mouth to explain, but was drowned out by the shouts coming from the _other _table.

"He pushed her!"

"He called her fat!"

"He raped her!"

Vegeta snapped at that last one. He powered up to Super Saiyan and raised his gloved palm. Coach Davis was engulfed in a bright white light, and within seconds the deed was done. Nothing remained of Coach Davis but a pile of ashes.

PPP burst into the room shouting, "Coach Davis is dead!" Everyone stared at her oddly.

"Are you psychic or something?" Yamcha asked.

"No I'm not, you poor, pathetic fool, though I wish I was," PPP answered very seriously. "I saw it on camera." She pointed behind her at the alleged camera pointed at the classroom.

"That would explain how you got here so fast," Bulma remarked as Vegeta helped her up. He checked her for any injuries of any sort and promptly left.

"Well, there's only one thing to do now," PPP said in an authoritative tone of voice as she pulled out her cell phone. She dialed the number and waited for the other end to pick up. "Hey Mandi, it's Stephanie… Yeah, I need you to come to the school real quick… It's a long story; I'll explain when you get here. But listen, Coach Davis is dead!" PPP jumped and held the phone away from her ear, as Mandi had started ranting. When she was sure it was safe, PPP brought the phone back to her ear, saying, "Yeah, it's true. Listen, before you go, call Justin and tell him… Yeah, he'll definitely want to know!"

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**Oh, I've been wanting to do something like that for a looooong time! I even drew it once in class. I really don't like Coach Davis. He is the evil math teacher from hell!**


	4. Chapter 4

**And here we are finally with the next chapter of The Petulant Purple School. Sorry it took so long. I had started it, got about halfway through it, then completely forgot about it. Oh, and I'm also sorry to say that I had a sudden idea, and I won't be using any reviewers as teachers. But, since I feel bad about going back on my promise, you get to be faculty, but not teachers (like janitors and stuff).**

**Also, this will be my first "official" fight scene that I have ever written. I hope it's not too crappy. And since it's the two Trunkses that will be fighting, Mirai Trunks will be referred to as Mirai or MT.**

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PPP's friends arrived at the "school" a half-hour after they had been summoned. They were both very curious as to how their most hated teacher had died.

"It didn't have anything to do with that cartoon you always watch, did it?" Mandi asked with a yawn.

PPP looked around at all the DBZ characters in the room. "Of course not!" she answered brightly. "They're just here for decoration! Yes Mandi, it had something to do with 'that cartoon I always watch.'"

"Hey, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't hallucinating or anything," Mandi retorted. "It's not an everyday occurrence to see your psychotic friend's shows come to life, you know!"

"Whatever. So where's Justin? You did call him, didn't you?"

"He's right here," a voice answered from the doorway. "Stephanie, what did you do?" Justin asked exasperatedly, looking around at all the supposedly fictional characters in the room.

"Nothing," PPP answered innocently. "It was all Vegeta's fault."

"So why did you drag us out here at nine-thirty on a Saturday?" Mandi demanded, growing impatient with her friend. "I _was_ asleep before you called!"

"Well, I _was_ going to have a party, but since you guys took your time getting here, that'll have to wait 'til the end of the day. Congratulations you two, you're my new math teachers!" With that last statement, PPP sped down the hall back to her stolen office.

Mandi and Justin mouthed wordlessly at the crazy fan-girl. Finally, Mandi shook her head, muttering, "What I do for her…"

"Well, we might as well stay now that we're here," Justin sighed resignedly. Turning to his "class" he shouted, "I don't care what you do, as long as you don't break anything!"

The Trunkses and Raditz winced as Justin's shout bombarded their sensitive Saiyan ears. "There's only seven of us here, you don't have to shout!" Raditz screamed back.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd take it personally." By the look on his face, everyone present could tell that Justin clearly didn't mean it. Mandi sighed and shook her head, sitting down next to the Androids to watch the fight. Why was it that she was the only normal person in her group of friends?!

"You watch your mouth boy, I could kill you with my pinky!"

Thankfully, the "bell" rang before any more blood could be shed. As in most high schools, the students dashed out of the classroom as if their behinds were on fire. And in Yamcha's case, it was, thanks to Raditz and 17 and 18.

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The Trunkses entered the gym cautiously. They weren't entirely sure what to expect of the PE coach, but they were positive that they weren't going to like it. Several of their fellow classmates were already gathered in the middle of the floor. Bra zipped over to her older brother giggling.

"Hi Trunks!" the hyper, blue-haired little girl squealed, hugging his leg tightly. Mirai gave his counterpart from the past a little smile, and wandered off to look for Goten or Gohan. He didn't have to look far, and was exchanging battle tactics with Gohan when several shots rang out, echoed by the gymnasium's horrible acoustics.

In the hallway to the locker rooms, two figures stood one diminutive and the other freakishly huge. The smaller one was clutching a very large and dangerous looking gun of some sort.

"Gotta love the facial expressions of fresh meat," the elf said, "don't you think?" They both stepped onto the court, revealing themselves to be none other than Commander Julius Room and Domovoi Butler.

For those unfamiliar with these characters, I suggest reading Artemis Fowl. Those who are familiar with them, yes, I understand that Root is dead. Roll with me here.

"Alright!" Root yelled, his face starting to go red as he took the initiative. Butler slipped away to lean against the bleachers, watching. "Butler and I are going to be your PE coaches. If you don't like it, I don't care.

"Because Butler and I have no real experience with sports and the like—"

"Except for my sister's obsession with wrestling," Butler interrupted.

Root muttered under his breath in Gnommish, something about stupid humans and their stupid games, which I will not repeat, and continued with his lecture. "Whatever. As I was saying. Butler and I have no real experience with sports, so you will be treated as new LEP recruits for the first half of the period, and the second you will spar.

"So, if you idiots will line up, we'll get started."

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Root blew his whistle and everybody without Saiyan blood collapsed. Chi Chi gave Root the dirtiest look she could muster; this was supposed to be a high school gym class, not some military camp!

"Oh, get up, it wasn't that bad!" Root shouted, ignoring Chi Chi's glare. "Fowl could do that with ease!"

"Not really," Butler muttered. Ignoring Root's reddening face, he said louder for the class to hear, "Non-fighters may sit in the bleachers to watch." Butler waited for Chi Chi, Bulma (who took a protesting Bra with her) and Mrs. Brief to remove themselves from the floor. Surprisingly, Hercule stayed put. "The rest of you, pair up and start whenever you're ready."

Hercule frantically grabbed at Krillen. He hadn't realized how many Saiyans were in the class, and Krillen was the only other human available. Gohan and Videl were paired together, as were Raditz and Bardock. This left the Trunkses to be paired. The fighters powered up and the matches began.

Mirai started by drawing his sword. "Is that allowed?" the other Trunks asked. He would be at a serious disadvantage if MT were permitted to use the blade.

"The teachers haven't said anything about it, so I'm guessing that it is," Mirai replied as he settled into his stance. Without warning, Mirai charged at his double, nearly catching him off guard. But at the last moment Trunks leapt out of the way, and MT ended up slicing through air.

Without waiting for Mirai to recover, Trunks rushed at his opponent, delivering quick, lightning-fast punches. With the oncoming assault, Mirai couldn't find an opening to use his sword; he was too busy blocking. Struck by sudden inspiration, Trunks took a step back. Before MT realized what was going on, his sword clattered across the floor, thanks to the beautiful roundhouse kick perfectly executed by Trunks.

MT glared at his past self and powered up to Super Saiyan. Trunks did the same.

Around them, other fighters were beginning to take notice of the powered up doubles. Hercule made a little whimpering sound and ran to hide under the bleachers, abandoning the beating he was receiving from Krillen. Krillen sighed. If Hercule spent more time actually fighting rather than pretending to be a Ginyu, he might not get his ass handed to him quite so much. Now partner-less, Krillen found a safe place on the bleachers to watch the rest of the fights.

Raditz and Bardock, being the full-blooded Saiyans that they are, paid no attention to the sudden power surge. They were so involved with their fight, they didn't realize they were levitating higher and higher until Raditz was sent flying into an air duct. After throwing a ball of ki in Root's general direction, who was rolling on the floor laughing at the display, Raditz and Bardock sheepishly returned to the ground and continued their fight.

The transformed Saiyan hybrids rushed at each other again, tearing up the court as they did so. Butler would have said something, but then, what did he care? It would be on the author's head, not his.

In a blur of motion, the Trunkses exchanged hits, neither one of them able to get an edge. Far away in the distance, the Bon-Jovi-song-clip-bell was playing, but the two were in their own little world. Finally, Trunks managed to get a vicious upper cut in, and that was when a hot, laser-like bolt seared his cheek. He looked up to find Commander Root aiming his Neutrino at the two of them. He heard snickers behind him, and turned to find a completely different set of characters.

"Beat the crap out of each other on your own time," the slightly overweight elf barked, gesturing toward the door with his Neutrino, "and get your asses to class." Apologetically Trunks and Mirai scurried away to their next class: science

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**It is complete! I am very proud of myself, because this isn't the only update I've made tonight. Yu Yu Hakusho fans, I have updated my story Stinkin' Wormholes, which, contrary to popular belief, is NOT A MARY SUE. It is an author insert. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. And now I guess I have to apologize for ranting. I'm just a little annoyed that some genius decided to put my story on a C2 dedicated to Mary Sues. It says very clearly on my profile that I don't write romance, except for the occassional yaoi. **

**See the pretty purple button? If you click it it does something cool.**


	5. Chapter 5

**First off, I would like to apologize to those of you who have been reading for how long it's taken to update. I had actually forgotten I even wrote this thing, and now that I read it over, I'm not liking it. I will finish it, but it will take awhile.**

**Cristina: I hope I portrayed your character the way you wanted her.**

Mirai Trunks knocked meekly at the closed door labeled D4. Above it, the nameplate that originally read "Mrs. Phillips" was scratched out and replaced by "Cristina."

It was King Vejita that answered the door, smiling broadly at his grandsons. "This bit of pointlessness might actually b3e fun," he whispered as the purple-haired warriors entered the room.

"You're late," the teenager standing in front of the dry erase board stated. The Trunkses squirmed under the girl's evil glare. Normally, neither of them would have been intimidated by a human girl, but in their experience, fan girls were scary, especially the smart ones. "Go sit somewhere and we can get started."

The two found seats in the back and obediently sat down. "Since the author of this story is a bit of a pyro, we will be learning the art of creating explosives," Cristina explained. "I know about as much on the subject as you do, so I've found all the chemicals that look remotely flammable and placed them on the table in the middle of the room. My only rule is a restriction on using ki. Anyone who can't abide by that will have an AP Chemistry textbook thrown at their head."

Goku, Pan, and Bra squealed with delight and jumped at the table. Goten and Trunks followed at what they deemed was a more dignified pace, but were still as enthusiastic as the others. The remaining adults smirked at each other; they had a feeling that this period would be more rewarding than any real high school chemistry class.

As the Saiyans got to work, Cristina grabbed a video camera, set it up on a tripod, and pressed record. She had done it every class period so far; there was no way she'd let herself forget this experience.

Everything went well for most of the hour-long class. That is, until Yamcha gat a hold of the Bunsen burner. He had been growing his hair out for a while, and for the most part he was successful. As he bent over trying to light the damn burner, a strand of thick black hair managed to escape the ponytail he was keeping it in. Soon, Yamcha's entire head was set ablaze.

The whole class burst out laughing at Yamcha's predicament as the distraught man raced around the room, trying to put his hair out. Even Cristina, the supposed adult in the room, giggled some. She also made a point to make sure her camera caught Yamcha's antics. Steam filled the room when the idiot finally thought to dunk his head in the nearby sink, and the room had to be ventilated.

When the smoke and the steam cleared, two triumphant high pitched shouts were heard, and everyone's attention was drawn to Pan and Bra. They stood on the table holding a beaker of brown sludge for all to see. "We did it!" they announced simultaneously.

"Excellent…" Cristina hissed, rubbing her hands together. She grabbed her camera and stalked out the door, motioning for the rest to follow.

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They gathered at the pitcher's mound in the middle of the softball field, after threatening Root and his P.E. class away with the dreaded AP book. An odd contraption stood before them.

"So, what do we blow up first?" Cristina asked amicably.

"The chemistry book," Yamcha muttered sullenly. He had already been hit with it several times, mostly because the author likes to see him suffer.

"You know what Yamcha!" Cristina shouted, throwing the book in question. The corner of the spine conked him just above the eye. "Chemistry hurts!"

"Let's start with that shed over there," King Vejita suggested, pointing majestically at the supply shed.

Cristina obediently placed a bottle rocket in the contraption's nozzle, and then sprinkled some of Pan and Bra's sludge at the base. She pointed the makeshift launcher at the shed and stepped back. "Who wants to light it?"

"Oh!" Goku squealed. "I do!" Eagerly, he tossed a small ball of ki at the thing. Several things happened at once.

The initial explosion completely destroyed the launcher. Nothing was really left of the thing, except scraps of twisted metal. The rocket had missed the shed entirely, soaring into the nearby woods. Seconds later, a small mushroom cloud bloomed overhead, accompanied with a loud bang.

"We know nothing," Cristina ordered, quickly heading back inside. The rest of the group followed, just as the bell rang.


End file.
